I have been seeing a gentleman for a few months, and we are challenged by our pets. I have a neutered male cat. His dog is a neutered male that is some kind of Irish terrier breed. When we visit and stay at one another's homes, the animals are at odds. What can we do?

At my condo my cat can easily hide from the dog, and he does. The dog is high energy and barks at my cat, and I'm not sure if he wants to attack the cat or is just barking. At his home, I keep the cat in one room, and we keep the door closed. What things can we do so the two animals can co-exist? B.W.

Dear B.W.,

There are several behavior-modifying techniques that you can use but the challenge is that the two animals do not live in the same home but visit. How long do you each stay over? The dog has to come over since he needs to be walked but does the cat need to visit if the visits are for less than three days? You want the cat included, but is the stress for both of you worth it? He may be happier staying in his own home when you are away.

As for the dog visiting, have treats on hand and offer them to redirect his attention away from the cat. The idea is that in time he will associate the cat with treats and not have interest in going after the cat. Have each animal lie on something such as a small blanket, toy, or item of clothing until their smell is on it and then bring it to the other's house and let the other animal smell it and get comfortable with it. Give the animals a safe space in each home. Spend time introducing them with separation or barriers such as on a leash for the dog and a carrier for the cat. Try having the cat in his house while the dog is out for a long walk.

Lastly, consider consulting a local veterinary behaviorist. They may have other ideas or use various pheromones, anxiolytic OTC supplements, or specific medications. Good luck. In time, and with patience, I'm hopeful it all will work out for the four of you.