Parents of neurodivergent children face a challenging weekend as common sleep problems become worse when the clocks change, an expert has said. Up to 71.5% of people with autism and 50% of those with ADHD have sleep disorders that affect their daily function and quality of life, and many of the traditional sleep methods don't work for neurodiverse children, especially as they grow older.
Special Educational Needs child psychotherapist, Gee Eltringham, said: "Let's be clear: 'cry-it-out' methods are not only outdated, they are now proven by science to be harmful. For neurodiverse children, these methods can be particularly traumatic. Leaving a distressed child to self-soothe without support and skills to do so, can heighten their sense of fear and insecurity, making sleep even harder in the long term and effecting day time behaviours.
"To understand why sleep can be such a challenge, it helps to go back to basics. Sleep, from an evolutionary perspective, is dangerous. When humans slept outdoors, it was the time when we were most vulnerable, predators prowled, sounds became sharper, and darkness amplified every noise. Although we now have locked doors and warm duvets, our brains are still wired for vigilance.
"For children, especially neurodiverse ones, this sense of perceived danger can be overwhelming. Their logical brain, the prefrontal cortex, is still developing. In fact, research suggests that neurodiverse children may be up to one-third behind their peers in this area of brain development. This means that when the lights go out and the noises change, the crocodile under the bed feels very real indeed.
"During the day, many neurodiverse children spend their time masking, mimicking, and managing sensory overload. They are surrounded by people, at school, at home, in activities. Then suddenly, at night, we expect them to go from being constantly supported to being alone for eight to twelve hours. For some, this transition can trigger anxiety, fear of missing out, separation anxiety or an overactive mind particularly for children with ADHD, where the "busy brain" only gets louder when the external world quiets down.
"So what can parents do? First, approach sleep with empathy. Punishment, shouting, or frustration will only heighten a child's fight-or-flight response. Instead, think of teaching sleep as a skill, something to be scaffolded, supported, and learned gradually, just like maths or a foreign language. One thing every parent can do is CONNECT with their child before bed. When children feel truly connected with their parents or carers, bedtime feels easier. I play cards with one of my children and build Lego with the other just to connect. Connection before commands such as 'brush you teeth' helps ease transitions reducing bedtime stress."
Practical tips for helping neurodiverse children sleep:
1. Stay until they feel safe. Gradually reduce your presence over time, where you slowly withdraw support as your child gains confidence. This may mean that you sit outside your 14 yrs. olds bedroom for 2 weeks , but that it ok.
2. Create a plan with a consistent bedtime routine. Predictability helps calm the nervous system. Aim for the same bedtime and wake-up time daily, even on weekends . Make a plan with your child and agree on how scaffolded support will be used over a few weeks e.g. nights 1-4 you will sit in their room, nights 5-8 you will sit outside their room etc
3. Use music or audiobooks. For busy brains, soft instrumental music, white noise or a familiar audiobook that's long and predictable can help distract from intrusive thoughts. Research even suggests that Rachmaninoff's music can help calm neural activity in ADHD brains.
4. Introduce 'worry time'. Set aside 10-15 minutes after school where your child can share concerns. Anything that arises at night can be written down to discuss at the next "worry time," helping the brain let go before bed.
5. Try heavy work before sleep. Activities like commando crawling, wall push-ups, or being rolled in a duvet can help release the build-up of stress hormones and prepare the body for rest.
6. Mind the diet. Neurodiverse children often use more glucose during the day. A small, protein-rich bedtime snack can help prevent 2-3 a.m. wake-ups caused by low blood sugar.
7. Watch the screens. Blue light and emotional stimulation from social media or gaming can delay melatonin production, making it much harder to fall asleep.
8. Check the environment. Sensory sensitivities can make small things, like scratchy pyjamas, buzzing plugs, or bright clocks can be deeply uncomfortable. Aim for a cool, dark, calm room.
Gee said: "Whether it's springing forward or falling back, that one-hour shift can wreak havoc on a child's circadian rhythm, the internal body clock that tells us when to sleep and wake. Neurodiverse children, whose sleep cycles are already more delicate, and who can sometimes have challenges with interoception, the body's ability to understand its internal state e.g. feeling tired or hungry, often feel this disruption far more acutely.
"A sudden change in daylight, meal timing, or bedtime routine can throw their rhythm off for weeks. The best approach is to gradually adjust bedtimes and wake-up times by 5-10 minutes over several days leading up to the change. Keeping routines consistent, using dim lighting in the evening, and exposing your child to natural light in the morning can all help reset their internal clock more gently.
"Sometimes, despite all efforts, sleep still doesn't come easily. In those cases, it's important to your doctor. Melatonin can be prescribed in the UK and has shown to be helpful for some neurodiverse children when used appropriately.
"Above all, remember that sleep isn't just about shutting down it's about feeling safe enough to let go. When we support our neurodiverse children with understanding, structure, and patience, we teach them not just how to sleep but how to rest easy in a world that often feels too loud and too much. "