Vinay Menon is the Star's pop culture columnist based in Toronto. Reach him via email: [email protected]
Donald Trump is overseas.
Normally, this is terrifying. Will he ad-lib a new tariff as a world leader sits across with a grimacing smile? Will he glimpse a small boat and conclude without evidence it is engaged in narcoterrorism before ordering a killer drone to blow it out of the water in clear violation of international law?
No, friends, I come to you today with hope.
The U.S. president is in his happy place: Windsor Castle.
His mother, Mary Anne MacLeod, was a monarchist. Her obsession with pomp and pageantry was passed to her son via Manhattan osmosis. Trump loves the royal family more than he loves his own family.
This was obvious in wire footage on Wednesday. Donald and Melania were greeted at the steps of Marine One by the Prince and Princess of Wales. Trump looked chuffed. As they ambled across the manicured lawn, Melania even held her husband's hand. (It's possible she only did this to avoid bumping into a King's Guard as her purple UFO hat was pulled over her eyes.)
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Time for the aspiring American king to shake hands with real King Charles.
And all I could think about was Ukraine.
With the horrors and unrest pummelling the world -- Gaza, Nepal, Sudan, Haiti and all corners elsewhere -- Ukraine has tumbled off the front page. Most days, it's not on any page. This doesn't mean Russia's barbaric invasion and brutal slaughter of Ukrainian civilians has slowed.
It has accelerated, largely because Vladimir Putin feels footloose and fancy-free. He now sees America as a pickleball court where Trump is the perforated ball he can smack around with his KGB paddle of manipulation.
On the campaign trail, Trump vowed to end this conflict in 24 hours upon returning to office. Here we are, 239 days later, and things are so much worse for Ukraine. Joe Biden, where have you gone?
On the surface, this week's state visit is all about the pomp and pageantry Mary Trump adored. There will be carriage rides, high tea, royal salutes, military flybys, bagpipes, a tour of St. George's Chapel and more of Melania's crazy hats. I honestly don't know how she can see. The woman must have LIDAR.
But once the choirs have faded, the deafening keynote is Ukraine.
I am agnostic about the royal family. But here's what is important: King Charles is not agnostic about Ukraine. With his deep sense of military history, with his calibrated moral compass, his support for Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy is unflinching in its stoic resolve.
After Zelenskyy was ambushed in the White House this year -- a shameful matinee of performative theatre starring VP JD Mascara -- it was King Charles who rewrote the playbill. He invited to Zelenskyy to London right after the poor guy was kicked out of the White House as if he was unruly Airbnb guest who set fire to the chesterfield.
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King Charles sent a message to Trump: I stand with Ukraine and you should too.
In one photo on Wednesday, the King is seen holding court. Trump is laughing like a little boy getting an autograph from George Springer. It is strange to see Trump genuinely disarmed and tickled. He is usually snarling like a rabid junkyard dog. But in proximity to royalty, he morphs into a delightful Welsh Corgi who appears to be grinning at an invisible force only he can see.
On this state visit, for the sake of Ukraine, that invisible force is King Charles.
Leaders of every NATO country have banged their heads against diplomatic walls trying to get Trump to champion Ukraine without equivocation. It hasn't worked. Trump has actually blamed Zelenskyy for Russia's murderous rampage, which is as insane as saying Charlie Kirk fired the kill shot into his own neck with a bolt-action rifle usually reserved for big game hunting.
Trump looks down on every world leader. He sees them as neutered fools. But he looks up to King Charles. He views the crown and throne as aspirational. There's a reason his gilded and gaudy White House would get an envious nod of approval from Henry VIII.
King Charles has a chance this week to help Ukraine by weaponizing Trump's love of King Charles. It won't happen when cameras are rolling. It will be a stolen moment in private, with intense eye contact, in which the monarch and president are tête-à-tête in an ostentatious room filled with living history.
This is all Charles need say: "Mr. President, you can be the Churchill we so need. Let's help the brave Ukrainians triumph and vanquish evil. Only you can make this happen with your weapons and leadership. Only you can make history."
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And if that doesn't work, lock Trump in the Tower of London.
King Charles is the one man who can change Donald Trump.
Donald Trump is the one man who can change the war in Ukraine.