A. My darling girl. I have been waiting for this letter for a while. I felt and understand every word of it, and this exact turmoil is the subject of so many conversations I am having with female friends. I cannot talk about the medical benefits of weight-loss jabs or how they can positively transform lives -- which I know they really do. I know there are plenty of people who have finally found freedom from the din of food noise, and I don't doubt or judge them. But all I can speak to is your very specific experience, which is also my experience.

Here is what I know to be true for me, someone who has been recovering from disordered eating for just over a decade: there is only one way to find contentment around food and to live in a body that is healthy. An extreme calorie deficit does not work. Eliminating food groups does not work. Obsessive exercise does not work. The only thing that works in a sustainable way is cognitive change. By which I mean: looking at the reasons why overeating or undereating is happening, not using food as a method of punishment or reward. Re-engaging with natural appetite and instincts. Listening to those bodily signals and responding to them gently. Finding a way to be in the present with food, rather than constantly obsessing over its role in the past or future.

* Read more from Dolly Alderton

I have to remind myself of this every time I see another acquaintance who has suddenly shrunk, or when I sit at a dinner with people who do not pick up their knives and forks. The old anorexic in me feels envious. She wants what they have. It is strange, after all these years of enjoying that hard-won self-acceptance you speak of, to feel it gently ebbing away. I grasp at it desperately, trying to keep it close -- saying to myself: that wouldn't work for me. That wouldn't work for me. I am sure it is the right choice for them. But it is not the right choice for me.

The side-effects of weight-loss jabs mimic a time in my life that was the most miserable and tormented. I can never again opt into hair loss, fatigue or being constantly cold in pursuit of the perfect body. And that's all this pursuit would be, for me or for you. Neither of us has any medical need for dramatic weight loss. The objective would only be to look a certain way.

Which leads me on to the next reason why I know it wouldn't work for me: I am already too vain. I am already ashamed of how many hours of my life I have spent taking selfies, examining my pores in magnified mirrors, or even, on very dark nights of the soul, zooming in on unflattering photos of myself on Google Images. This is not a side of myself that I find becoming. I am 40 years old in a few years' time -- the goal from here on in is not to think more about how I look, I want to think about it less. If I get to 50 and the majority of my camera roll is still photos of my own face and body, I am going to be absolutely livid at myself.

This is one of the reasons I barely go on Instagram any more, and I advise you to do the same. My algorithm has latched on to my former eating disorder, alongside my lifelong foible of vanity, and has tailor-made a toxic zine designed especially for my insecurities every time I log on. And as much as I want to scroll through before-and-after weight-loss pictures, or watch clips of cosmetic surgeons talking about which celebrities have had brow lifts, I can't. To do so would be to collaborate in a quest for aesthetic perfection and relentless self-objectification. That is not what I want, and neither do you. It is not something that is required of me, professionally or personally. I just want to be a fun, sexy woman at a party in a nice outfit, not giving a f*** about an unflattering photo that has just been taken.

And I also want to be hungry. Being hungry in all senses is not only a huge part of my life and relationships, but a huge part of my personality. For me, the feeling of craving and then satiation and satisfaction is one of the gorgeous rhythms of daily life. Is this something you'd want to be rid of if it's not absolutely necessary?

There are women in your life who are going through the exact same mental struggle you're going through right now. Talk to your best friends and share all the conflicting feelings you have. Keep talking about it, even when it feels too vulnerable. These conversations can become a place of immense salvation, community and perspective for you.

And here's my last, most important piece of advice: the next time you see someone who has been on weight-loss jabs, don't take it personally. It is really not about you. I know it feels like they are sending you an explicit message that the worst thing you could be is a size 14,but they're not. Don't be angry at them, don't be envious of them. Their reasons for doing weight-loss jabs are deeply personal, just as yours are for choosing not to do them. It is not your business, it is not your body. Your body is the one you're in right now. Stay in it, listen to it and don't obsess over it. It wants care, rest, experience, pleasure and, most of all, it wants peace.