DEAR ABBY: I'm a 37-year-old guy who has a younger female friend, "Kim," who lives out of state. I care for her very much, although not romantically. My problem is, I've allowed trauma caused by a previous relationship to negatively impact my friendships now. I was cheated on and have trust issues. This caused a lot of problems with my out-of-state friend. (We used to live near each other, but I moved away.)

Kim and I aren't speaking right now, and sometimes I wonder if she'll ever talk to me again. This has had an impact on other friendships as well. I want to stop letting this affect my relationships and make amends with my friends, especially Kim. What would be the best way to do this? -- WOUNDED IN WYOMING

DEAR WOUNDED: Talking with a licensed mental health professional might help you become less defensive so you don't drive more people away. For former friends who haven't blocked your calls or emails, an honest explanation and a sincere apology might be the way to mend fences. As for Kim, you may be able to reopen the lines of communication by writing her a letter telling her how much you miss her friendship and conveying a similar message.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.